I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
