Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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