just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
