cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
there was a trapeze. enough said
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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