so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
