i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
