I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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