Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
