his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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