I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
