Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
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