let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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