You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
