His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
