tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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