somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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