You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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