He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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