I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
