So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize