Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Dicks are not precious.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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