hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
