In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
it's great music for shaving your balls
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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