There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
