Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
