just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
