Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
