The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
