found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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