Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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