All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
