if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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