I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
