No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
4 words: hood of his car
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
