Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
