Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
