ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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