you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
