okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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