Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
