UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
