I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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