I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There r osticjed everywhere
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
