He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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