The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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