Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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