meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
