my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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