I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
