the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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