im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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