i don't like sucking hair
what day is it and did you see me today?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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