just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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