So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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