check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
