My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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