the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
