Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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