and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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