Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize