Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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