? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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