Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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