If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
